


Let Yourself Be Enough

by Britt89



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 10:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30003321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Britt89/pseuds/Britt89
Summary: Set Post 1x10. TK never did reconcile with Carlos after that day at the juice bar. They went their separate ways. But nothing stays the same forever!
Relationships: Alex (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/Original Male Character(s), Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 3
Kudos: 103





	Let Yourself Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All,
> 
> This is something that just never left me and I’ve finally put it down into words. I hope you like it - let me know! Please let me know any missed tags - I am still terrible at it! :)

“Don’t worry about it, dad.” TK paused “I understand. I’ll just see you at home tomorrow.”

TK tugged the phone away from his ear, hitting the red circle to end the call. He placed his phone into the pocket of his jacket and reached for his bottled water. He drank the remaining liquid from the bottle as he reached into the pocket of his jeans.

“Headed out so soon, sugar?” The waitress inquired as she appeared at his side with a soft smile.

He returned her smile. “Afraid so, my dad can’t make it after all.”

With that he placed a $20 dollar bill on the table for his water and her time. “Thank you, Ellen. Have a good night!”

She smiled graciously at him. “You, too, honey. Have a good rest of your night!”

TK stood from the table, pushing his high top bar stool under the table and making his way across the Honky Tonk Tavern. He glanced around – taking in the fact that it wasn’t overly crowded for a Friday evening. He stopped in his tracks as his eyes fell on the table of his friends and an unfamiliar face. _Who the hell is he?_

TK reached a hand up to the back of his neck absentmindedly and scratched softly at his hairline. He found himself staring, his mind wandering. He pulled himself from his thoughts and glanced down at his feet. He suddenly wished the place had been packed. He took a deep breath and willed his feet to move. He kept his eyes trained on the floor as he continued his track across the room. He almost made it.

“TK!” the all too familiar voice of his friend and co-worker called out.

His shoulders slumped. _Damn it, probie!_

TK took a deep breath and spun on his heels, feigning surprise as he took a few steps over to their table.

“Hey guys!” He offered slowly as he came to stand at the edge of their 6 top.

“Thought that was you” Mateo paused “Cap said you guys had plans tonight!”

“Yeah, what up homie!” Paul grinned

He smiled, his eyes flittering across the 5 people at the table, stopping at the all too familiar chocolate brown eyes that compromised his dreams on a regular basis.

Carlos watched him carefully, his smile soft and hesitant. “Hey Ty”

TK’s smile faltered slightly. He’d just ignore the blonde next to Carlos. He didn’t need it spelled out for him. “Hey Carlos”

Paul cleared his throat “Uh, yeah, probie and I dropped by the station to pick up the new uniform forms and Cap mentioned he was heading out to meet you for dinner.”

“Otherwise we would’ve texted you to come hang with us!” Marjan added in

TK nodded slowly, his eyes turning to the other side of the table where Marjan, Mateo, and Paul sat. “Yeah, I had a bunch of class work for this certification I am working on. I was supposed to meet up with dad for dinner, but he had to bail – Captain Harper wasn’t feeling well and asked dad to take his shift.”

“Well” Mateo clapped his hands together “Too bad for Cap, sick Cap and our Cap, but better for us – now you can join us!”

Paul narrowed his eyes at Mateo. “Sick cap and our cap? Sometimes it’s a wonder you get out of bed in the morning.”

A soft collective laugh spread over the group and TK was grateful for it. He silently wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. _Think quick, TK. You have more studying, you shouldn’t be out anyways. Too much work to do!_

It was too late. The table was moving now – Mateo, Carlos and, _he who shall remain nameless_ were sliding towards the edge of the 6 top circular booth. Paul and Marjan followed suit opening a space up at the other end of the table. He didn’t protest. Part of him wanted to run away. The other part wanted to know. He slid into the now vacant spot, settling and looking up. _Well hello blue eyes._ Of course he was seated dead across from _Carlos date?_ He pushed the thoughts out of his head.

“I don’t believe we’ve met!” TK offered

Carlos licked his lips. TK noticed. His eyes tracing back and forth from Carlos’ lips to his eyes. _Damn it, TK!_

“This is Adrian.” Carlos offered

He didn’t have to say anymore. The simple offer of the name was all the confirmation TK needed. This was the new guy. He had heard Paul on the phone in the bunks last week talking about – that name, Adrian, taking baby steps, and awkwardness. Once he made his presence known in the room, he’d noticed the way Paul had quieted his tone to whomever he was on the phone with. At first he’d thought it was so as not to disturb TK, but now it all made sense especially the way he’d slowly made his exit to finish his phone call in another room. He was on the phone with Carlos and this was the source of their chat.

“Nice to meet you, Adrian!” TK smiled

“So” Marjan leaned forward “I have a new match coming up next Friday, anyone interested?”

“Match?” Adrian questioned

“Oh, I am on a roller derby team.” Marjan clarified

“Ah, sports.” Adrian teased

Carlos chuckled “Adrian has two left feet!”

TK pursed his lips together. _Teasing. Banter. Gross. They were probably holding hands under the table, too. Pull your life together, TK!_

“What do you like to do for fun, Adrian?” TK inquired

Carlos watched him carefully. TK glanced at him before turning his attention back to the blonde.

“I am more into zen like stuff then sports.” Adrian offered “I teach yoga at a fitness center, so it’s a large part of my every day life!”

TK nearly choked. _The world hated him, that must be it._

Adrian cleared his throat “Why don’t we go get the next round, Carlos?”

Carlos watched TK. His mind finally recognizing and processing Adrian’s words as he stood up. Carlos followed suit.

TK watched them momentarily and then forced himself to look away. He wasn’t just a pretty face with sandy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Nope. He was tall, toned, and had great style with his soft denim jeans, light green button down, and black sneakers.

Mateo followed suit “Bathroom break!”

Paul nodded “Yeah, me too while everyone is up.”

TK watched them go and turned back to Marjan “I hate you all!”

Marjan laughed sympathetically, her hand covering her friends softly as she leaned into him. “I am so sorry – I can’t even imagine how awkward this is!”

TK sighed “I guess I always knew he wouldn’t stay single forever.”

“What even happened with you guys. I mean, after you were shot, he was there and then he was just gone.” Marjan noted

TK chewed on his bottom lip “He wanted to know what we were. He wanted a label. I freaked and we went our separate ways agreeing to be friends. But all communication pretty much ceased after that and it’s been radio silence for the past 2 months since. Other than the occasional civil pleasantries if we cross paths on a call.”

Marjan nodded “Well when we bumped into them tonight, Carlos looked like he wanted no part of joining us, but no one can ever tell Mateo no!”

TK chuckled “Tell me about it.”

“Does it bother you?” Marjan wondered “Him dating someone else?”

TK stared at her. He licked his lips and nodded slowly. “Oh yeah. I have no right to feel this way, but all I can think about is how much I miss him; How happy I was when I was with him. We might not have had a label, but those nights together; dinners, clubs, playing darts, taking runs – I was so happy then.”

Marjan tightened her grip on his hand. “TK, if you feel this way about him – what was stopping you?”

He stared at her “It wouldn’t work. It never does. He deserves so much better.”

“I’m sorry that you don’t realize how fabulous you truly are. I wish I could show you how everyone else sees you.” She whispered softly before adding “And hey if you need me to text you a fake emergency when they come back, so you can get out of here – I totally will!”

TK laughed “Maybe I should take you up on that offer!”

Adrian thrummed his fingers absentmindedly on the bar as he and Carlos waited for the drinks. “So that must be the ex, huh?”

Carlos shook his head “We weren’t together technically.”

Adrian watched him “Okay and the whole not being together technically now – your choice or his?”

Carlos was so grateful when the bartender appeared with the remaining drinks. He played off Adrian's question, answering with a simple “It doesn’t matter.”

He grabbed the water and 2 wines. Adrian reached for the 3 IPA’s and started back towards the table with Carlos trailing behind him. “Oh, uh, Carlos, I didn’t realize it, but were short a beer…”

“No were not.” Carlos replied as they arrived back at the table just as Paul and Mateo slid back into their seats from their bathroom break. Adrian placed the 3 beers down and slid back in next to Mateo. Carlos handed Adrian a wine and then slid Marjan’s wine over to her. He handed the bottle of mineral water to TK.

“Here you go, Ty.” He offered, sliding back into his own seat and grabbing a free beer as did Paul and Mateo.

TK gripped the bottle tightly, a soft smile lighting up his features “Thanks, Carlos.”

Adrian didn’t miss it. TK must not drink. Carlos knew this. Carlos made sure TK got a water.

He sipped his wine “So, TK, is your name really Tyler?”

TK groaned “Unfortunately”

Mateo laughed “Nobody gets to call him Tyler!”

“Not even his dad!” Paul added

_Just Carlos._ But that wasn’t spoken out loud.

———

TK stared the wooden door before him. His hands trembled. _Was he insane?_ He wrung his hands together nervously – glancing over his shoulder. The blue sports car sat lonely in the driveway.

_Surely he drove. If he was here, his car would be here. Probably some hybrid Prius – good for the environment. That must be what yoga fitness instructors drove, right?. Stop being a judge mental prick, TK! Or maybe he’d Uber’d here like TK. Nah, he wasn’t a Manhattan transplant who barely knew how to drive, or was he?_

TK shook his head. He couldn’t do this. He pulled his phone out and launched the Uber app. _Damn it, TK, grow a pair!_

He shoved his phone in the pocket of his hoodie. He took 2 quick steps towards the door and without hesitation wrapped his knuckles firmly against the wooden door. Then he repelled backwards, a look of horror crossing his face. _Oh, god. Oh, god. Please be sleeping. Please be in the shower. Please._

The door swung open and TK met those chocolate brown orbs. _God, he’s perfect._

“TK?” Carlos asked, his voice laced with surprise.

TK smiled nervously “Hi there”

Carlos just stared. He didn’t know what to say.

“Can we talk?” TK asked, voice hopeful “I mean, if your willing, if your alone…”

Carlos stopped him “Yeah”

He stepped backwards, making way for the smaller brunette to enter. TK didn’t notice his warmth as he brushed by him. He didn’t. The apartment looked the same as it had when he was last here a couple months ago. He absentmindedly looked around. _No pair of running shoes under the table. No spare bottles of vitamins on the counter from when they had a sleepover. No random hoodies of his strewn about. No traces of Adrian. At least not in the way TK had once left his traces._

He turned slowly, his hesitant eyes meeting Carlos’ confused ones. He chewed on his bottom lip. He looked even more beautiful in the soft light of the living room. Only the television and end table lamp adding light to the room. His muscles visible under his grey T-shirt and his hips hugged perfectly by his black straight leg joggers. _Tyler Kennedy Strand, you are a moron!_

TK scratched nervously at his cheek before pulling his hand back down to his side.

Carlos sighed “I’m not really sure what’s going on here, Ty. You want to fill me in?”

TK stared at him “I miss you!”

Carlos’ features softened, but it was just a flash before his wall was pulled right back up “Why because I’m dating, Adrian?”

“Just dating – he’s not your boyfriend?” TK wondered

Carlos shook his head “You don’t get to ask these questions, TK!”

His shoulders fell slightly, his legs weakening. He sat down on the edge of the chair. His hands rubbing his knees as a coping mechanism.

“I know” he breathed “But I need to know – I need…”

“You cannot be serious” Carlos interrupted “God, do you have any idea how infuriating you are?”

TK nodded slowly “Carlos…”

“No” he interrupted again “It’s my turn. I wanted this, Ty, I wanted it all with you. Two months ago when we sat at the juice bar – I made it clear. When you were shot, like I told you that day, the emotions I had – were so much more than someone who was concerned about their “friends with benefits” partner. I suddenly pictured my life without you, if you didn’t make it. After getting so comfortable with you being a part of it for months, I didn’t like my life without you, TK. I was terrified of a world without you; without our dinners, runs, nights out with our friends, nights in bed together. But that’s the thing – you were never mine to begin with. I was falling head over heels for a guy and picturing a life with someone who just wanted friends with benefits and nothing more. That’s why I had to ask for answers – I needed a title or I needed out because I had to protect myself, too. You shut me out that day and I had to let go. You don’t get to show up on my doorstep the night after you realize I am seeing someone and tell me you miss me, you don’t!”

TK’s eyes dropped from Carlos’ to the floor. A lone tear streaking down his cheek, betraying him.

“Your right” he whispered “But it wasn’t last night that I missed you, Carlos, it was every night for the past two months. I know I shouldn’t be here, I don’t even deserve your time, but I…I love you – so I have to try!”

Carlos’ breath hitched in his throat. TK swore he saw his knees buckle. He was rooted in place. His throat dry.

TK stood up, crossing the room to him and coming to a stop in front of him. “I mean it, every single word. You don’t have to say anything, you can yell at me, slap me, I deserve it – I don’t even deserve your time after…”

“Why?” Carlos breathed

“Why do I love you?” TK questioned “How can anyone not?”

Carlos shook his head “Why do you put yourself down the way you do – like your not worthy?”

TK stared at him “I’ve never been worthy of anything good in my life – that’s why it either crashes down around me or I blow it up.”

Carlos studied him, his eyes softening “How do you not see how incredible you are?”

TK shuttered “If I’m so incredible then why didn’t anyone ever stay? My dad was always at the firehouse, my mom was married to a law firm, my best friend Kevin got a girlfriend and forgot I existed, Alex fell in love with his fitness spin instructor. I was never enough.”

Carlos felt tears prickling at the back of his eyelids “Yes, you are.”

“What?” TK whispered

“Your enough” he breathed “Your everything!”

TK licked his lips, his hands trembling at his sides. He reached out, his hands cupping Carlos’s face.

Carlos’ eyes shut tightly and TK stared at him intently, willing his eyelids to flutter back open and then they did. His breath hitched, the emotion cursing through Carlos’ brown eyes took his breath away.

TK chewed nervously on his bottom lip as he continued, his fingers caressing Carlos’ cheek. “I am terrified of how fast I fell in love with you. I’m terrified of how much I could love you, if I truly let myself. I’m terrified of how much I would lose myself if I lost you – I am not sure I could even recover. But at this point, I’m just tired of being terrified. I love you, I want to be with you and for the first time in my life – I have something I am willing to literally step off a ledge for and not let my fears control it.”

Carlos chuckled softly, his hands sliding up TK’s stomach and around his waist “No stepping off of ledges, okay? I’ve seen enough of you in a hospital bed!”

“We can discuss it” TK teased leaning in, a soft smirk on his lips

And that was it – all resolve was gone. Carlos melted into his hands, his body gravitating against the smaller frame. TK’s lips descended softly onto Carlos’. One hand slipped from his cheek, to hold his neck, deepening their kiss. Carlos pulled TK tighter against him – his tongue tracing TK’s bottom lip and asking for permission. It was granted and Carlos nipped lightly at his bottom lip before melding into their kiss.

They pulled back when the need for air became unbearable. “Ty, I love you!”

TK balled the fabric of his t-shirt in his hand, smiling against his mouth as he pulled back slightly “What are we, Carlos? Are we even a we?”

“We’re everything” Carlos breathed

“I love you so much, Carlos Reyes!” He whispered before leaning back in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Carlos’ softly rubbed his nose against TK’s. One hand softly caressing TK’s cheek as the other pulled him closer by the waist if that was even possible. Carlos dropped his head to TK’s shoulder and let out a mangled chuckle. “Oh my god, fitness instructor…”

TK laughed “All water under the bridge now, babe.”

Carlos lifted his head from TK’s shoulder “No ledges, no bridges…”

TK smiled at him “No ledge, no bridges…”

“But everything else” Carlos breathed

“Everything else” TK confirmed before this lips met once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Comments? I welcome it all!
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Britt


End file.
